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Earth enters a state of quantum flux, causing reality to warp and bend but only for red-headed people who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they have seen every episode of Firefly who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by a bunch of Elvis impersonators , but scientists create a new weapon which turns them into weird rocks.
The End.
but they die from catching the common cold.
The End.