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SCIFI.radio story

Earth is mistaken for a lost civilization by alien archeologists who perceive us only as a food even though they smell really bad who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by a slap to the side of the head with a large fish but one cunning young man somehow convinces them that people are okay and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.