Earth ascends to a higher plane of existence, leaving behind a changed world but only for left handed people who are friendly but incomprehensible even though they are only slightly radioactive and might be overpowered by a bunch of kids playing disco music on boom boxes but one cunning young man somehow convinces them that people are okay and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
