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A Random
SCIFI.radio story

Earth unleashes a cosmic storm of chaos and unpredictability on the universe in the form of door to door salesmen who perceive us only as a food even though they all do bad impressions of William Shatner who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by the army, navy, air force, space force and/or marines , but scientists create a new weapon which turns them into weird rocks.
The End.
but they die from catching the common cold.
The End.