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A Random
SCIFI.radio story

Earth ascends to a higher plane of existence, leaving behind a changed world but only for left handed people who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they all do bad impressions of William Shatner and might be overpowered by a crowd of people with pitchforks and torches , but scientists create a new weapon which turns them into weird rocks.
The End.
and then they kill us all.
The End.