Almost everyone would like to write a song or poem for their sweeheart. However, most of us don’t have the talent to do so. Professor Elemental now offers a solution to that problem.

In the 16th century, Yale students could hire Jupiter Hammon to write love poems to help them court their sweethearts. In the 21st century, we have Professor Elemental to perform the same service.

There are different options to suit your song:

  • A freshly written verse recorded sent over via video – £100
  • A brand new verse, recorded over a unique beat by producer, Tom Caruana – £200
  • A whole song recorded over a unique beat by Tom Caruana – £400
  • A re-recorded version of one of the professor’s existing songs on the subject of your choice – £300

All prices are inclusive of studio costs, post production mixing and VAT.

If you’d like to chat more about what splendid music I can make for you, drop me a line at

At the current rate of exchange, a hundred pounds is roughly $130 in US currency. Please keep in mind the rate of exchange is always changing,

Do you and your someone special have an “our song”? Is it a theme from a favorite movie? Is it a song you heard on the radio as you were driving home from your first date? Is it a song from a concert you attended together? Is it a song we play on Ir your song is Tom Lehrer’s “I Hold Your Hand in Mine,” you might be a cousin of the Addams family. Would you consider hiring Professor Elemental to compose a bespoke song for you and your someone special?


Susan Macdonald
Susan Macdonald

Susan Macdonald is the author of the children’s book “R is for Renaissance Faire”, as well as 26 short stories, mostly fantasy in “Alternative Truths”, “Swords and Sorceress #30”, Swords &Sorceries Vols. 1, 2, & 5, “Cat Tails” “Under Western Stars”, and “Knee-High Drummond and the Durango Kid”. Her articles have appeared on’s web site, in The Inquisitr, and in The Millington Star. She enjoys Renaissance Faires (see book above), science fiction conventions,  Highland Games, and Native American pow-wows.