A Random

SCIFI.radio story

Earth discovers that the key to unlocking the mysteries of the cosmos is piles of raw salmon who are friendly but incomprehensible even though they all do bad impressions of William Shatner and cannot be destroyed by a crowd of people with pitchforks and torches but one cunning young man somehow convinces them that people are okay and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.