A Random

SCIFI.radio story

Earth discovers that the key to unlocking the mysteries of the cosmos is piles of raw salmon who are friendly but incomprehensible even though they can all do credible singing impressions of Ethel Merman who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by a slap to the side of the head with a large fish , but scientists create a new weapon which turns them into weird rocks.
The End.and then they kill us all.
The End.