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A Random
SCIFI.radio story

Earth becomes the battleground for an epic showdown between cosmic forces of good and evil who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they all do bad impressions of William Shatner who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by a nuclear bomb , but scientists create a new weapon which turns them into weird rocks.
The End.
but they die from catching the common cold.
The End.