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Earth falls under the spell of a cosmic enchantment, casting the world into sentient vats of melted caramel who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they have seen every episode of Firefly and might be overpowered by a slap to the side of the head with a large fish but a priest tells them about the God and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.