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SCIFI.radio story

Earth wakes up to find itself inside a giant hamster wheel racing against other hamsters who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they are only slightly radioactive who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by the army, navy, air force, space force and/or marines but a priest tells them about the God and they form a rock band and tour the galaxy, becoming interstellar celebrities.
The End.