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A Random
SCIFI.radio story

Earth transforms into a giant game board for cosmic chess matches who perceive us only as a food even though they can all do credible singing impressions of Ethel Merman who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by a nuclear bomb but a priest tells them about the God and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.