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A Random
SCIFI.radio story

Earth gains the ability to communicate with celestial bodies who understand us all too well even though they all do bad impressions of William Shatner who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by the army, navy, air force, space force and/or marines but a priest tells them about the God and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.

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