A Random

SCIFI.radio story

Earth discovers that the key to unlocking the mysteries of the cosmos is piles of raw salmon who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they can all do credible singing impressions of Ethel Merman and cannot be destroyed by the army, navy, air force, space force and/or marines , but scientists create a new weapon which kills them all.
The End.and then they kill us all.
The End.