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A Random
SCIFI.radio story

Earth wakes up to find itself inside a giant hamster wheel racing against other hamsters who are friendly but incomprehensible even though they are only slightly radioactive who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by the army, navy, air force, space force and/or marines , but scientists create a new weapon which turns them into weird rocks.
The End.
and then they kill us all.
The End.