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A Random
SCIFI.radio story

Earth discovers that the key to unlocking the mysteries of the cosmos is piles of raw salmon who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they all do bad impressions of William Shatner who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by a bunch of kids playing disco music on boom boxes , but scientists create a new weapon which turns them into weird rocks.
The End.
and then they kill us all.
The End.