A Random

SCIFI.radio story

Earth is slated for destruction by aliens who want to build an intergalactic bypass who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they can all do credible singing impressions of Ethel Merman and cannot be destroyed by a slap to the side of the head with a large fish but one cunning young man somehow convinces them that people are okay and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.