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A Random
SCIFI.radio story

Earth is slated for destruction by aliens who want to build an intergalactic bypass who understand us all too well even though they can all do credible singing impressions of Ethel Merman who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by a bunch of Elvis impersonators , but scientists create a new weapon which turns them into weird rocks.
The End.
but they die from catching the common cold.
The End.