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SCIFI.radio story
Earth begins to glow in the dark which attracts strange aliens who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they all do bad impressions of William Shatner who derive their sustainance by the army, navy, air force, space force and/or marines but a priest tells them about the God and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.