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SCIFI.radio story

Earth is targeted by a previously undiscovered asteroid storm which was actually created by aliens who understand us all too well and might be overpowered by a slap to the side of the head with a large fish but one cunning young man somehow convinces them that people are okay and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.