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Earth enters a state of quantum flux, causing reality to warp and bend but only for red-headed people who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they are only slightly radioactive who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by a bunch of Elvis impersonators but a priest tells them about the God and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.