A Random

SCIFI.radio story

Earth becomes sentient and begins eating other planets who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they are radioactive who derive their sustainance by a bunch of Elvis impersonators but one cunning young man somehow convinces them that people are okay and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.