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Earth becomes the subject of a cosmic reality TV show for ferrets who are friendly but incomprehensible even though they can all do credible singing impressions of Ethel Merman and might be overpowered by a bunch of Elvis impersonators but one cunning young man somehow convinces them that people are okay and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.