A Random

SCIFI.radio story

Earth discovers that the key to unlocking the mysteries of the cosmos is piles of raw salmon who are friendly but incomprehensible even though they can all do credible singing impressions of Ethel Merman and might be overpowered by the army, navy, air force, space force and/or marines , but scientists create a new weapon which turns them into weird rocks.
The End.but they die from catching the common cold.
The End.