A Random

SCIFI.radio story

Earth becomes sentient and begins eating other planets who are friendly but incomprehensible even though they can all do credible singing impressions of Ethel Merman who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by the army, navy, air force, space force and/or marines but a priest tells them about the God and they become the new rulers of Earth, ushering in a new era of peace and prosperity.
The End.