A Random

SCIFI.radio story

Earth is slated for destruction by aliens who want to build an intergalactic bypass who do not understand us even though they are only slightly radioactive who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by a nuclear bomb but one cunning young man somehow convinces them that people are okay and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.