A Random

SCIFI.radio story

Earth discovers that the key to unlocking the mysteries of the cosmos is piles of raw salmon who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they can all do credible singing impressions of Ethel Merman and might be overpowered by a crowd of people with pitchforks and torches but a priest tells them about the God and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.