by Nur Hussein, staff writer
They’re making a Tetris movie.
Seriously, they’ve just announced a Tetris movie.
The Tetris Company will enlist Threshold Entertainment, the creative minds that brought you the 1995 live action Mortal Kombat movie and its sequel Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (my reaction was, “there’s more than one?”) to produce this film. Threshold’s CEO was quoted as saying that the movie will be “very big, epic sci-fi.”
In the press release, Threshold is said to have “a proven track record in game-to-movie adaptations,” which probably refers to their live-action film adaptions of Mortal Kombat. The business case for this movie is that Tetris is a brand worth milking, a fact Threshold is surprisingly all too eager to emphasize. No writer, director, cast or release date has been announced yet.
A number of joke trailers already exist on the internet pre-dating this announcement, mocking the trend of milking video games for movie adaptations. The joke however, is now one step closer to reality. Whatever audience this movie is expected to have, no doubt they will be awaiting it with anticipation like an overdue 1 x 4 elongated piece that will neatly fill the similarly shaped void in their lives. I do wonder however, if the size of said audience is meaningfully large enough to get any returns on this investment.
I have included the following fake trailer for your enjoyment, which I predict will be eerily close to the actual product, if and when it gets made.
Nur is a tinkerer of programmable things, an apprentice in an ancient order of technomages. He enjoys fantasy, sci-fi, comic books, and Lego in his spare time. His favourite authors are Asimov and Tolkien. He also loves Celtic and American folk music. You can follow him on twitter: @nurhussein