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SCIFI.radio story

Earth is slated for destruction by aliens who want to build an intergalactic bypass who want to plug us into a power grid and use us as living batteries even though they are only slightly radioactive who tend to stutter under pressure when confronted by a crowd of people with pitchforks and torches but a priest tells them about the God and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.