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SCIFI.radio story

Earth suddenly spawns protoplasmic beings who understand us all too well even though they all do bad impressions of William Shatner and might be overpowered by the army, navy, air force, space force and/or marines but they fall in love with a young girl and they are turned into weird rocks that all look suspiciously like either Elvis or Madonna, but nobody can agree on which one it is.
The End.